Woke up today to my hair really patchy...I mean bad..So, shaved it again..Only 5 more weeks, only 5 more weeks..Cannot wait for my time off..And for some hair..Got the question today on
"Why don't you wear your wig? Really? Why do you even care?..For one minute THINK,maybe that is not the most important thing on my mind I DO MISS MY HAIR..it will come back UGHHHHHHHHH..I am preparing for surgery, I have lost my hair (for a 2nd) time, my eyelashes, struggling to find who I am in all of this, the old me that is falling apart right in front of my eyes, woke up today with my hair all patchy my sick breast hanging on it looks sick so I don't have too) keeping it together with a sense of humor, wit and a realness with emotions I have DO NOT UNDERSTAND, FROM ONE MINUTE TO THE NEXT..BUT MAINTAINING MY COMPOSURE, sleepless nights, hot flashes,...Looking at old pictures (that are not that old) and knowing that will never be me again..Everything is going to be different, my mind, hair, body, cells, the way I veiw life..I am doing the best that I know how...I don't understand it, so why should I expect anyone else too????
I am doing what I can MY way hair is just an accessory in all of this..Why don't YOU wear my wig????????
All I want is for my surgery to be over...Just get them off of my body!!!!!!!!!!! I have already said my goodbyes..Please pray that my doc agrees to a double masectomy..Boobs come in pairs they should leave that way too..I just am praying really really hard for that..
Here is a great song that my non canerous breast would say to the sick one..Just look at the lyrics that way (SOUNDS WEIRD AGAIN NO EXPLANATION NEEDED) ..Just how I am feeling now..Please take the time to go to this song..it's a good bye song to my breasts.I have to say goodbye to say HELLO to LIFE, PEACE AND TRUE HAPPINESS AGAIN..Good bye Smith and Wesson you have been a great source of pleasure and pain, I will be glad you are both gone to the research lab to help save someone else's life! You are off the roller coaster and only on my body for a short while..CIAO', GOODBYE, BYE-BYE,ADIOS, AU REVOIR ECT...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB3pxBDZvf4
Heather you are gonna be even a better person, you already are one amazing woman, I will keep you on my prayer for your doctor to be able to do the surgery the way you want him to, I wish i was near you to hug you, and hold your hand when you need some one there. I always love you my friend.
ReplyDeleteEmmy