Come on dark cloud I am over here....Major VENT session..Read at your own risk..

  This is a site explaning what HER+ breast cancer is please take the time to read it so you can understand it... http://www.herceptin.com/her2-breast-cancer/testing-education/what-is.jsp 

Damn it has been a week already? Guess so, had my 8th treatment today in this cycle 4 more to go...And to add to the excitement I get 3 Nupengen( however the hell you spell it) Sat, Sun and Monday..I know, I should be so lucky right??????? As my WBC are barely in range..

I know that I have done a great job looking at the "bright" side of things and GOD forbid if I am at the angry stage in all of this and  to have a bad day and not want to be HAPPY,HAPPY, JOY, JOY..and still get "Look at the bright side..(fill in the blanks)  my fav is that I should look at the brighter side as I can sleep in extra since I don't have hair to do..

Some of these people making these comments should shave off their hair, eyelashes, pick their clothes out the day before, eat breakfast, shit, shower and shave the night before as they could use way more then 10 minutes of extra sleep..bags under the eyes big enough to carry my groceries in..

At least I can still be beautiful...RIGHT isn't that what society wants, it doesn't friggen matter if your miserable as long as ya look good on the outside..so others can paint on the fake ass smile with you..as I become the real me all I want to do is find plastic surgeons to remove the sticks from their ass's..so I can beat the fake smiles from their faces...




















I will start farting sunshine towards those that want to TELL ME TO  see the bright side, so I don't have too..'Cause right now I feel like shit..

I have been de-programmed from the thinking of being a people pleaser as to not make others feel uncomfortable and to just keep it in put a damn fake ass smile on as to "not" make others "feel" bad just because I am angry. Yea well that is your problem not mine!!

I cannot just come and go to do what ever I want to do as my counts are barely on the "pass" level with the 3 shots, Big surprise I already failed my mammo, and 3 biopsies.. now it is cold and flu season,  so with all those lovely people that do not wash their hands after blowing snot, or coughing up a lung touching everything in site I have to avoid those places..AS I most likely cannot get a flu shot. Ohh and their is a stomach virus going around..

My holiday shopping will be from home, just as this is..I wanted to go to a concert next weekend that won't be happening either..I did go out to dinner..I  know the excitement is overkill..I have gone from being Heather, to "Chemo Girl" to Bitch with a Capital C (the last one is from me)

Why would I not want to look like this again??

Looking into some meditation classes a good friend told me about..So, I can have hope for the future, help to slow down and find out who I am in all of this..a life outside all of this SHIT that has invaded my life..Working on that space ship to send my H.I away..Fucking amazes me that I have to write a letter for a double masectomy, (as my other breast is healthy) so I dont have to mentally have to put myself or my family through this again when it is MY BODY and MY LIFE!!!!!!!!


Remember to wash your hands and sing "You are my sunshine" so your hands can be as bright as your cheesy smiles..You were warned it is going to be a crazy few weeks, but I am crazier..MUHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA Here is the song for the week..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOvgR_mWGco